“Avatar” movie review and it’s connection to the men’s movement.

For as long as I can remember I have always had a passion for movies. What began as a source of pure entertainment has now evolved into a philosophical and spiritual exercise in personal growth and awareness. I have come to recognize that movies are simply metaphors for life and when viewed from this perspective they can provide lessons and insights that assist us in discovering who we really are. This is the perspective from which I view movies. I see them as an opportunity to learn about myself and the world around me. I consider them to be divine teaching tools that challenge me to become a better human being.

With my love of movies, I find it somewhat surprising that I have not written many reviews about them so I wanted to take this opportunity to share my interpretation of the latest blockbuster movie Avatar.

I can sum up the movie in one simple word. “MAGICAL” It really isn’t just a movie, it’s a visual and spiritual experience that has redefined going to the movies. From the very beginning to the climactic ending I was mesmerized by the pure beauty of the entire production. As a huge fan of computer generated imagery and science fiction,I was absolutely blown away by this film. Words can not come close to describing how technologically beautiful Avatar truly is. This movie has raised the bar and will be the standard through which future movies will be judged.

Of course it takes more than fancy computer generated graphics to make a great movie and this is another reason why I love this movie so much. The story works on so many different levels that it challenged me to really think about it’s message and it’s meaning.

The primary message that I came away with is that this movie is symbolic of the transformation of men in society.

Let me explain.

In the story, humans have traveled to a distant planet called Pandora. The planet has a very rare mineral called unobtanium that is needed to help save the earth. On Pandora, the natives are called the Na’vi people and they are ten foot tall blue colored humanoid type aliens. To help them secure the mineral, scientist develop a way to “grow” Na’vi people (Avatars) in a special facility and then they can connect human beings to a machine that allows them to transfer their spirits into the Avatar bodies which were developed in the lab. This allows humans to remote control the man-made Avatars on the planet using only their minds.

The primary character is Jake Sully who is a paralyzed former marine who volunteers to go to the planet to help retrieve the unobtanium after his brother is killed. His job is to use his Avatar body to become friends with the Na’vi people in hopes that he can convince them to move so that humans can extract large quantities of the rare mineral from their homeland. (I don’t want to spoil the movie so if you haven’t seen it yet you might want to skip the rest of this blog until you do.)

So Jake begins as a spy but he meets and falls in love with one of the Na’vi people named Neytiri and all of a sudden his priorities change and he decides to help the Na’vi instead of hurt them.

That’s a quick synopsis and I really don’t want to give away the entire story so now I would like to share my insights and interpretation of the film.

First of all I liked James Cameron’s choice of selecting a paraplegic former marine as the main character. What this symbolized for me was the fact that most men are “wounded” in our society and completely unaware of this fact. Most of us have some unresolved emotional conflict that keeps us from being our authentic self and this character really symbolized this point for me. In the movie, not only is Jake paralyzed from the waist down he is also grieving the loss of his brother who was killed in combat.

As the movie progresses, Jake is taught the ways of the Nav’i people and his heart begins to soften as he is exposed to the spiritual lifestyle of the Navi. He is taught how everything in nature is connected and that he should have reverence for all things. He is mesmerized by the incredible beauty of the planet and his relationship with Neytiri deepens as she teaches him to be more open to the beauty of the world around him.

Initially his love interest calls him stupid and naive but as he learns the way of the Na’vi she recognizes that he has a “”strong heart” which she finds very attractive and eventually she falls in love with him.

One of the most moving parts of the film is the expression “I See You”. It is based on the Sanskrit word “Namaste” which means “the divine in me acknowledges the divine in you”. In the movie it is used as a term of endearment which expresses that the person sees you and your true essence.

As Jake is introduced to the way of the Na’vi, he begins to embrace all of the beauty around him and he develops a deep sense of reverence and respect for the environment and the people in it. Because of the love and guidance he receives from Neytiri he learns to open his heart and fall in love. Not only did he fall in love with Neytiri, he fell in love with the forest and the Na’vi people.

This is true transformation. He learned to open his heart and share his spirit.

As the movie moves to it’s climactic ending there is a scene in which Jake is transported back to his human body out of his Avatar form. When he does, he begins to suffocate because of the air on the planet. To save him, Neytiri locates his human body and gives him a gas mask that saves his life. This is the first time that she actually sees him in his human form but her heart recognizes him immediately as she calls him “my Jake”.  As he wakes up from almost suffocating he looks at her and says “I See You”. As she caresses him in her arms she begins to weep and says “I See You”  which for me symbolized that she loves the true essence of who he is and they were both expressing their authentic love for one another. They were true soul mates in every way.

I loved this scene!

In summary, Avatar is a story of male transformation. It is the story of men learning to come to grips with how disconnected we sometimes feel and it provides us with an opportunity to reconnect.

The time has come for men to learn to heal their hearts and become authentic men. When they do this, they will experience what it truly means to be a loving, caring spiritually connected male. This transformation will allow men to experience the beauty of being alive and will provide the foundation for them to create loving relationships and passionate lives. This is the only way that we will see a reduction in the 50% divorce rate that currently plagues our society.

This is my intention with A New Conversation With Men. I am creating a resource for any man who is courageous enough to discover who they really are. My hope is that men use this resource to begin their own journey of transformation and eventually they will follow Jakes example in connecting with his authentic self and finding the woman of his dreams.

If you have not seen Avatar yet, run, don’t walk to your local theater and check it out.

You’ll be glad you did!

I See You!

Can Tiger Woods ever redeem himself?

With all of the media attention that has been focused on Tiger Woods and his “transgressions”, the question becomes “Can he ever redeem himself in the publics eye?” To answer that question I will begin by making a simple distinction. First of all there is Tiger Woods the golfer and then there is Tiger Woods the man. It’s important that I make this distinction before I actually answer the question.

Let’s begin with Tiger Woods the golfer.

In order for Tiger to redeem himself as a golfer it’s actually pretty simple. All he has to do is go out and win some golf tournaments and surpass Jack Nicklaus’ major championships record and I can assure you he will be redeemed in the eyes of the sports world. Our society has a very short memory when it comes to athletes and their indiscretions as long as the athlete can inspire and excite us with their unique gifts and talents. If and when Tiger is able to come back to the sport that he dominates he will continue to be admired and worshipped as an icon in the sports world. Therefore he would be “redeemed” in the eyes of the public.

Not that society will condone his actions, it’s just that our culture thrives on celebrity’s lives and few people in our culture are as “celebrated” and recognizable as Tiger is. Therefore the media needs Tiger to feed the media machine. Rest assured that the media needs Tiger a lot more than he needs them. In addition to the media, I can assure you that corporations also need Tiger and are also ready to move past this setback so that they can continue to profit from his celebrity. No one wants Tiger to be redeemed more than corporate sponsors. He is a billion dollar corporation in himself and there is an infinite amount of people who’s lively hood depend on him. These people are doing everything in their power right now to insure that Tiger gets back on the golf course and does what he does best, WIN!

Now let’s talk about Tiger Woods the man which is much more complicated.

Unfortunately in our celebrity dominated culture we make icons out of celebrities and then create the perception that they are somehow different from ordinary people. The truth is, all people are ordinary, it is the things that they do which make them extraordinary. The fact that Tiger is a billion dollar athlete that is an expert at hitting a small round ball into a very small hole (sounds ordinary and simple doesn’t it?) better than anyone else still does not change the fact that he is an ordinary person.

I believe this is Tigers greatest challenge. He must come to the understanding that he is an ordinary man with extraordinary talent. When he comes to this realization he will then be ready to truly redeem himself. Once he accepts this simple fact he then sets the stage for his transformation.

In order for him to be transformed he must be willing to become self introspective and get to the root causes of his self destructive behavior. The experts tell us that all addictive behaviors have at their core an unresolved emotional conflict so he must be willing to uncover his emotional conflict if he truly wants to be transformed.

This transformational process will be the most difficult endeavor he has ever embarked upon. It will be difficult because like most men, he will not be able to depend on physical prowess or intellectual acuity. He will have to look into the deepest recesses of his heart where the unresolved emotional conflict resides and that is the place where men generally refuse to look. It’s been said that the longest journey any man will take is from his head to his heart and this adage holds true for all men.

If he chooses to engage in this process he will learn that extramarital affairs are never about the physical act of sex. They are attempts to fill an unfilled emotional need. Until that need is filled and the emotional conflict is resolved no amount of sex will ever satisfy him. This is the beginning of his redemption.

It’s difficult for most people to comprehend the reality of sexual addiction. In our sex crazed culture it sounds like a cop out and justification for a mans indiscretions to say that a man (or woman) is addicted to sex. The fact remains that sex addiction is real and is no different than drug addiction, food addiction or work addiction. It might seem that it isn’t a real addiction because we relate sex with physical pleasure but I can assure you that the emotional and spiritual toll it takes on a mans well being can be devastating.

So to truly redeem himself Tiger must engage in his emotional healing and transformation. He must learn to heal his heart and take responsibility for his actions. He must be willing to seek forgiveness from those he has hurt and most importantly he must learn to forgive himself. He must concede that he is an ordinary man with an extraordinary talent but that talent should not define him.  He must come to the realization that true success does not come from his ability to simply play golf, it comes from his ability to be an authentic man, to be a great father to be a loving husband and to excel at a game that he loves to play. He is a man first and a golfer second. This simple distinction is the key to his redemption.

Last but not least he must surround himself with men who will support him in being the best man he can possibly be. Men who see him as a man and not just a great athlete. Men who model integrity, fidelity and self responsibility. Men who will hold him accountable for his actions and will not allow him to fall back into old patterns of negative behavior. Men who truly understand the process of transformation and can guide him along his journey. Men who will love him unconditionally without judgment for the man that he truly is. Building this support system is key and will make the process much easier and insure his success.

So in answer to the question I posed, yes, Tiger Woods can redeem himself. But he must redeem the man before he redeems the golfer and in the end he will become a much better man as a result.

A New Conversation about Faith

By: Michael Taylor

My earliest recollection about having faith and going to church begins back in the early seventies. I remember the look and sounds of the church I attended and the apparent power that the minister had over the congregation. In my young mind the minister was a direct representative of God so I came to the conclusion that the minister was definitely closer and more connected to God than any one.

 Although I was too young to really understand everything the minister was saying, intuitively I felt that something was wrong with his message. I remember having lots of questions that no one would answer directly for me. This led to skepticism about God from a very early age. The event that I remember most about God as a child was being force to get baptized.

When I say forced I mean that literally. I definitely did not want to participate in what I considered to be a useless ritual but I did not have a choice. My grandmother threatened me with bodily harm if I didn’t go through with it and I knew that she would keep her word of “tearing me a new behind” if I did not go.

 According to the grownups in my life I had to be baptized in the name of the father the son and the Holy Spirit if I wanted to save my sinful soul. Without question my greatest fear about being baptized was drowning. I was terrified that

the minister had talked to God and found out about some of the sinful things that I had done. Now I was going to be punished. I just knew that he was going to hold my head underwater until I drowned and then say that it was an accident.

 Or maybe he would say that God called me home to be with him. Either way I knew it was the end for me. As the minister motioned for me to step into the pool I wanted to turn around and run. Unfortunately there was a deacon standing behind me that would not allow that to happen. As I walked toward the minister I could hear the music in the background. It sounded more like a funeral than a baptism and that simply amplified my fear.

 I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as sweat continued to run down my face. As I approached the minister I decided that I would trust the process and hopefully come out of it alive. As he grabbed my forehead and began saying his baptismal prayer I took a deep breath and hoped for the best. In an instant I was dunked in and out of the water and I was still alive. Hallelujah Jesus! I was still alive!

 As the minister finished up his prayer he detected a smile on my face. I’m sure he thought that I was filled with the Holy Spirit but the truth is I was simply glad he didn’t drown me. I’ve heard some people say that  they experience a profound spiritual feeling after being baptized. The only thing I felt was cold. The water was freezing and I simply wanted to get out of that pool and dry off.

 As I think back in retrospect, this one event probably shaped my perception of God more than anything else at the time. As a result of this experience I concluded that God: 

1. Only spoke to ministers

2. Created all of the pain in my life

3. Would only listen to you if you prayed in church and paid your tithes

4. Was someone/something you should be afraid of 

As I moved through adolescence and into my teenage years my skepticism and doubts about God continued. I didn’t know exactly why I did not believe in God there was just something in me that needed concrete irrefutable proof. 

As my doubts about God continued to grow I had an experience that challenged me to question my beliefs about God. One Sunday my mother and I were sitting in church and I noticed that she was crying. When I asked her what was wrong she said “nothing.” 

As I listened to the sermon I did not detect anything in the ministers words that should have made my mother cry. I assumed that maybe she was sad about something that she just had not told me about. Either way I still wanted to know why she was crying. When I asked her once again why she was crying she answered “because I feel joy in my heart!” 

“What do you mean you feel joy in your heart” I asked. “Aren’t you crying because you are sad?” “I’m not sad at all. I feel lots of love and gratitude in my heart right now and that is why I am crying” she said. This really confused me because I had always related tears to sadness and I had never felt so joyful that I cried. 

As I sat there and watched her weep I could feel the love in her heart. Somehow she was experiencing the presence of God right next to me. After that experience I decided that maybe I needed to rethink my beliefs about God and if I were lucky I would have the opportunity to feel the joy that she was feeling.

Isn’t it amazing how seemingly simple events can completely shift your perceptions and perspectives about things?

As a child, I grew up being afraid of God and denying its existence. As I grew older, I became open to the fact that my beliefs may have been incorrect and I became willing to look at things from a different perspective.

This is what I mean when I talk about a new conversation. It is simply being willing to see things from a new and different perspective. The amazing thing to me is that it took my experience with my mother crying to change my mind about God. As a result of that experience I made room for the possibility that there was a God and that if I wanted to truly experience it I would have to get out of my head and into my heart where God really lives.

I must admit that I did go through a period in my adult life when I made a choice to become an Atheist. During this time I was experiencing several hardships in my life and it was difficult for me to be open to the existence of God.

I had attempted to go back to church to alleviate some of the pain I was in, but, it simply added to the pain I was experiencing. I had so many unanswered questions about God that I simply concluded that there was no such thing.

After a few years of trying to convince myself that God wasn’t real I remembered the experience of my mother so I set out to “feel” the love of God the way my mother did. Because of my commitment, I became willing to do whatever it took to feel the love within me. I participated in several seminars and workshops that assisted me in my emotional healing. 

As a result of that healing, I reconnected to my feelings, which resulted in my ability to feel and experience God within me. I am now able to feel the love within me that has always been there. Because of this newfound understanding I have come to some new conclusions about God that I would like to share with you.

1. God speaks to all people all of the time. The question isn’t to whom does God speak; the real question is who will actually listen.

 2. God is literally Love. Love will never cause you pain or sorrow. If I ever experience pain I am the source of that pain not God. The only thing God is capable of is love.

 3. You can have God without religion. It doesn’t matter which faith you practice or what God you serve.

God goes by many different names and when you are comfortable with any of the names you are definitely connected to God. There are many paths to God and just because someone is on a different path than you it does not mean that they are lost. 

4. There is absolutely no reason to be afraid of God. God is love so you should never be afraid. 

Of course these are my truths and I am not trying to convince you otherwise. I accomplished my goal of “feeling” the love of God within and I am happy and content with my relationship with my creator. My hope for you is that you seek out your truth and experience all the love God has in store for you. 

If you have unanswered questions about God then it is up to you to find your own answers. Do not rely solely on ministers or gurus. Take some time and come to your own personal truth and understanding about God.

Read books that offer insights and wisdom that may seem unconventional but speaks to your own spirit. Do not be afraid to try a different religion or belief system. Learn to trust your own inner wisdom to find the place that is right for you. 

If you are willing to look deep within yourself I can assure you that you can find the truth that sets you free. The time is now for a new conversation about God.

 Are you ready and willing to feel it for yourself?